Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE

EVANS. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which

is the way; and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which

is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook,

or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.

SIMPLE. Well, sir.

EVANS. Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it is a

oman that altogether's acquaintance with Mistress Anne

Page; and the letter is to desire and require her to solicit

your master's desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray you

be gone. I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins

and cheese to come. Exeunt

SCENE 3.

The Garter Inn

Enter FALSTAFF, HOST, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN

FALSTAFF. Mine host of the Garter!

HOST. What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly and

wisely.

FALSTAFF. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my

followers.

HOST. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier; let them wag; trot,

trot.

FALSTAFF. I sit at ten pounds a week.

HOST. Thou'rt an emperor-Caesar, Keiser, and Pheazar. I

will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap; said I

well, bully Hector?

FALSTAFF. Do so, good mine host.

HOST. I have spoke; let him follow. [To BARDOLPH] Let me

see thee froth and lime. I am at a word; follow. Exit HOST

FALSTAFF. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade;

an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither'd serving-man a

fresh tapster. Go; adieu.

BARDOLPH. It is a life that I have desir'd; I will thrive.

PISTOL. O base Hungarian wight! Wilt thou the spigot

wield? Exit BARDOLPH

NYM. He was gotten in drink. Is not the humour conceited?

FALSTAFF. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box: his

thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful

singer-he kept not time.

NYM. The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest.

PISTOL. 'Convey' the wise it call. 'Steal' foh! A fico for the

phrase!

FALSTAFF. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.

PISTOL. Why, then, let kibes ensue.

FALSTAFF. There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must

shift.

PISTOL. Young ravens must have food.

FALSTAFF. Which of you know Ford of this town?

PISTOL. I ken the wight; he is of substance good.

FALSTAFF. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

PISTOL. Two yards, and more.

FALSTAFF. No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the waist

two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about

thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I

spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she

gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her

familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be

English'd rightly, is 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.'

PISTOL. He hath studied her well, and translated her will out

of honesty into English.

NYM. The anchor is deep; will that humour pass?

FALSTAFF. Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her

husband's purse; he hath a legion of angels.

PISTOL. As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I.

NYM. The humour rises; it is good; humour me the angels.

FALSTAFF. I have writ me here a letter to her; and here

another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes

too, examin'd my parts with most judicious oeillades;

sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my

portly belly.

PISTOL. Then did the sun on dunghill shine.

NYM. I thank thee for that humour.

FALSTAFF. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such

a greedy intention that the appetite of her eye did seem to

scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to

her. She bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all

gold and bounty. I will be cheaters to them both, and they

shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West

Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this

letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford. We

will thrive, lads, we will thrive.

PISTOL. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,

And by my side wear steel? Then Lucifer take all!

NYM. I will run no base humour. Here, take the

humour-letter; I will keep the haviour of reputation.

FALSTAFF. [To ROBIN] Hold, sirrah; bear you these letters

tightly;

Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.

Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;

Trudge, plod away i' th' hoof; seek shelter, pack!

Falstaff will learn the humour of the age;

French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.

Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN

PISTOL. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam

holds,

And high and low beguiles the rich and poor;

Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,

Base Phrygian Turk!

NYM. I have operations in my head which be humours of

revenge.

PISTOL. Wilt thou revenge?

NYM. By welkin and her star!

PISTOL. With wit or steel?

NYM. With both the humours, I.

I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.

PISTOL. And I to Ford shall eke unfold

How Falstaff, varlet vile,

His dove will prove, his gold will hold,

And his soft couch defile.

NYM. My humour shall not cool; I will incense Page to deal

with poison; I will possess him with yellowness; for the

revolt of mine is dangerous. That is my true humour.

PISTOL. Thou art the Mars of malcontents; I second thee;

troop on. Exeunt

SCENE 4.

DOCTOR CAIUS'S house

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY

QUICKLY. What, John Rugby! I pray thee go to the casement

and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor

Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find anybody in the

house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience and

the King's English.

RUGBY. I'll go watch.

QUICKLY. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in

faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [Exit RUGBY] An

honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in

house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no

breed-bate; his worst fault is that he is given to prayer; he is

something peevish that way; but nobody but has his fault;

but let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is?

SIMPLE. Ay, for fault of a better.

QUICKLY. And Master Slender's your master?

SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth.

QUICKLY. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a

glover's paring-knife?

SIMPLE. No, forsooth; he hath but a little whey face, with a

little yellow beard, a Cain-colour'd beard.

QUICKLY. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as

any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a

warrener.

QUICKLY. How say you? O, I should remember him. Does

he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?

SIMPLE. Yes, indeed, does he.

QUICKLY. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune!

Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your

master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish-

Re-enter RUGBY

RUGBY. Out, alas! here comes my master.

QUICKLY. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young

man; go into this closet. [Shuts SIMPLE in the closet] He

will not stay long. What, John Rugby! John! what, John,

I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be

not well that he comes not home. [Singing]

And down, down, adown-a, etc.

Enter DOCTOR CAIUS

CAIUS. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, go

and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert-a box, a green-a

box. Do intend vat I speak? A green-a box.

QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. [Aside] I am glad

he went not in himself; if he had found the young man,

he would have been horn-mad.

CAIUS. Fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais a

la cour-la grande affaire.

QUICKLY. Is it this, sir?

CAIUS. Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche, quickly. Vere

is dat knave, Rugby?

QUICKLY. What, John Rugby? John!

RUGBY. Here, sir.

CAIUS. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby.

Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the

court.

RUGBY. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

CAIUS. By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me! Qu'ai j'oublie?

Dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the

varld I shall leave behind.

QUICKLY. Ay me, he'll find the young man there, and be

mad!

CAIUS. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villainy! larron!

[Pulling SIMPLE out] Rugby, my rapier!

QUICKLY. Good master, be content.

CAIUS. Wherefore shall I be content-a?

QUICKLY. The young man is an honest man.

CAIUS. What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is

no honest man dat shall come in my closet.

QUICKLY. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic; hear the

truth of it. He came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.

CAIUS. Vell?

SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to-

QUICKLY. Peace, I pray you.

CAIUS. Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale.

SIMPLE. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to

speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master,

in the way of marriage.

QUICKLY. This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my finger

in the fire, and need not.

CAIUS. Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baillez me some paper.

Tarry you a little-a-while. [Writes]

QUICKLY. [Aside to SIMPLE] I am glad he is so quiet; if he

had been throughly moved, you should have heard him

so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I'll

do you your master what good I can; and the very yea and

the no is, the French doctor, my master-I may call him

my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash,

wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the

beds, and do all myself-

SIMPLE. [Aside to QUICKLY] 'Tis a great charge to come

under one body's hand.

QUICKLY. [Aside to SIMPLE] Are you avis'd o' that? You

shall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down

late; but notwithstanding-to tell you in your ear, I would

have no words of it-my master himself is in love with

Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know

Anne's mind-that's neither here nor there.

CAIUS. You jack'nape; give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by gar,

it is a shallenge; I will cut his troat in de park; and I will

teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You

may be gone; it is not good you tarry here. By gar, I will

cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone

to throw at his dog. Exit SIMPLE

QUICKLY. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.

CAIUS. It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a me dat I

shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack

priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarteer to

measure our weapon. By gar, I will myself have Anne

Page.

QUICKLY. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We

must give folks leave to prate. What the good-year!

CAIUS. Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have

not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door.

Follow my heels, Rugby. Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY

QUICKLY. You shall have-An fool's-head of your own. No,

I know Anne's mind for that; never a woman in Windsor

knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more

than I do with her, I thank heaven.

FENTON. [Within] Who's within there? ho!

QUICKLY. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray

you.

Enter FENTON

FENTON. How now, good woman, how dost thou?

QUICKLY. The better that it pleases your good worship to

ask.

FENTON. What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?

QUICKLY. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and

gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by

the way; I praise heaven for it.

FENTON. Shall I do any good, think'st thou? Shall I not lose

my suit?

QUICKLY. Troth, sir, all is in His hands above; but

notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book

she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?

FENTON. Yes, marry, have I; what of that?

QUICKLY. Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such

another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke

bread. We had an hour's talk of that wart; I shall never

laugh but in that maid's company! But, indeed, she is

given too much to allicholy and musing; but for you-well,

go to.

FENTON. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money

for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf. If thou seest

her before me, commend me.

QUICKLY. Will I? I' faith, that we will; and I will tell your

worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence;

and of other wooers.

FENTON. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.

QUICKLY. Farewell to your worship. [Exit FENTON] Truly,

an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know

Anne's mind as well as another does. Out upon 't, what

have I forgot? Exit

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ACT II. SCENE 1.

Before PAGE'S house

Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter

MRS. PAGE. What! have I scap'd love-letters in the holiday-time

of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let

me see. [Reads]

'Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use

Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for his counsellor.

You are not young, no more am I; go to, then, there's

sympathy. You are merry, so am I; ha! ha! then there's

more sympathy. You love sack, and so do I; would you

desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page

at the least, if the love of soldier can suffice-that I love

thee. I will not say, Pity me: 'tis not a soldier-like phrase;

but I say, Love me. By me,

Thine own true knight,

By day or night,

Or any kind of light,

With all his might,

For thee to fight,

JOHN FALSTAFF.'

What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked world!

One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with age to show

himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour

hath this Flemish drunkard pick'd-with the devil's name!

-out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner

assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!

What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my mirth.

Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament

for the putting down of men. How shall I be

reveng'd on him? for reveng'd I will be, as sure as his guts

are made of puddings.

Enter MISTRESS FORD

MRS. FORD. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your

house.

MRS. PAGE. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look

very ill.

MRS. FORD. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to

the contrary.

MRS. PAGE. Faith, but you do, in my mind.

MRS. FORD. Well, I do, then; yet, I say, I could show you to

the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel.

MRS. PAGE. What's the matter, woman?

MRS. FORD. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect,

I could come to such honour!

MRS. PAGE. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour. What

is it? Dispense with trifles; what is it?

MRS. FORD. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment

or so, I could be knighted.

MRS. PAGE. What? Thou liest. Sir Alice Ford! These knights

will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy

gentry.

MRS. FORD. We burn daylight. Here, read, read; perceive

how I might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat

men as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's

liking. And yet he would not swear; prais'd women's

modesty, and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof

to all uncomeliness that I would have sworn his disposition

would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no

more adhere and keep place together than the Hundredth

Psalm to the tune of 'Greensleeves.' What tempest, I trow,

threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly,

ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I

think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till

the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease.

Did you ever hear the like?

MRS. PAGE. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and

Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill

opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter; but let thine

inherit first, for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant he

hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for

different names-sure, more!-and these are of the second

edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he cares not

what he puts into the press when he would put us two. I

had rather be a giantess and lie under Mount Pelion. Well,

I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste

man.

MRS. FORD. Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the

very words. What doth he think of us?

MRS. PAGE. Nay, I know not; it makes me almost ready to

wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like

one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he

know some strain in me that I know not myself, he would

never have boarded me in this fury.

MRS. FORD. 'Boarding' call you it? I'll be sure to keep him

above deck.

MRS. PAGE. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never

to sea again. Let's be reveng'd on him; let's appoint him a

meeting, give him a show of comfort in his suit, and lead

him on with a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his

horses to mine host of the Garter.

MRS. FORD. Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against

him that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O

that my husband saw this letter! It would give eternal food

to his jealousy.

MRS. PAGE. Why, look where he comes; and my good man

too; he's as far from jealousy as I am from giving him

cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance.

MRS. FORD. You are the happier woman.

MRS. PAGE. Let's consult together against this greasy knight.

Come hither. [They retire]

Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with Nym

FORD. Well, I hope it be not so.

PISTOL. Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs.

Sir John affects thy wife.

FORD. Why, sir, my wife is not young.

PISTOL. He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,

Both young and old, one with another, Ford;

He loves the gallimaufry. Ford, perpend.

FORD. Love my wife!

PISTOL. With liver burning hot. Prevent, or go thou,

Like Sir Actaeon he, with Ringwood at thy heels.

O, odious is the name!

FORD. What name, sir?

PISTOL. The horn, I say. Farewell.

Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by night;

Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo birds do sing.

Away, Sir Corporal Nym.

Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. Exit PISTOL

FORD. [Aside] I will be patient; I will find out this.

NYM. [To PAGE] And this is true; I like not the humour of

lying. He hath wronged me in some humours; I should

have borne the humour'd letter to her; but I have a sword,

and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife;

there's the short and the long.

My name is Corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch;

'Tis true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife.

Adieu! I love not the humour of bread and cheese; and

there's the humour of it. Adieu. Exit Nym

PAGE. 'The humour of it,' quoth 'a! Here's a fellow frights

English out of his wits.

FORD. I will seek out Falstaff.

PAGE. I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue.

FORD. If I do find it-well.

PAGE. I will not believe such a Cataian though the priest o'

th' town commended him for a true man.

FORD. 'Twas a good sensible fellow. Well.

MISTRESS PAGE and MISTRESS FORD come forward

PAGE. How now, Meg!

MRS. PAGE. Whither go you, George? Hark you.

MRS. FORD. How now, sweet Frank, why art thou melancholy?

FORD. I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you home;

go.

MRS. FORD. Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now.

Will you go, Mistress Page?

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY

MRS. PAGE. Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George?

[Aside to MRS. FORD] Look who comes yonder; she shall

be our messenger to this paltry knight.

MRS. FORD. [Aside to MRS. PAGE] Trust me, I thought on

her; she'll fit it.

MRS. PAGE. You are come to see my daughter Anne?

QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good Mistress Anne?

MRS. PAGE. Go in with us and see; we have an hour's talk

with you. Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and

MISTRESS QUICKLY

PAGE. How now, Master Ford!

FORD. You heard what this knave told me, did you not?

PAGE. Yes; and you heard what the other told me?

FORD. Do you think there is truth in them?

PAGE. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight would offer it;

but these that accuse him in his intent towards our

wives are a yoke of his discarded men; very rogues, now

they be out of service.

FORD. Were they his men?

PAGE. Marry, were they.

FORD. I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at the

Garter?

PAGE. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage

toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what

he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head.

FORD. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath to

turn them together. A man may be too confident. I would

have nothing lie on my head. I cannot be thus satisfied.

Enter HOST

PAGE. Look where my ranting host of the Garter comes.

There is either liquor in his pate or money in his purse

when he looks so merrily. How now, mine host!

HOST. How now, bully rook! Thou'rt a gentleman. [To

SHALLOW following] Cavaleiro Justice, I say.

Enter SHALLOW

SHALLOW. I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even and

twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go with

us? We have sport in hand.

HOST. Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bully rook.

SHALLOW. Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh

the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.

FORD. Good mine host o' th' Garter, a word with you.

HOST. What say'st thou, my bully rook? [They go aside]

SHALLOW. [To PAGE] Will you go with us to behold it? My

merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and,

I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe

me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you

what our sport shall be. [They converse apart]

HOST. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavaleiro.

FORD. None, I protest; but I'll give you a pottle of burnt

sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is

Brook-only for a jest.

HOST. My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress-

said I well?-and thy name shall be Brook. It is a merry

knight. Will you go, Mynheers?

SHALLOW. Have with you, mine host.

PAGE. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his

rapier.

SHALLOW. Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these

times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and

I know not what. 'Tis the heart, Master Page; 'tis here,

'tis here. I have seen the time with my long sword I would

have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.

HOST. Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?

PAGE. Have with you. I had rather hear them scold than

fight. Exeunt all but FORD

FORD. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on

his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so

easily. She was in his company at Page's house, and what

they made there I know not. Well, I will look further into

't, and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I find her

honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour

well bestowed. Exit

SCENE 2.

A room in the Garter Inn

Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL

FALSTAFF. I will not lend thee a penny.

PISTOL. I will retort the sum in equipage.

FALSTAFF. Not a penny.

PISTOL. Why, then the world's mine oyster. Which I with

sword will open.

FALSTAFF. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should

lay my countenance to pawn. I have grated upon my good

friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow,

Nym; or else you had look'd through the grate, like a

geminy of baboons. I am damn'd in hell for swearing to

gentlemen my friends you were good soldiers and tall fellows;

and when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan,

I took 't upon mine honour thou hadst it not.

PISTOL. Didst not thou share? Hadst thou not fifteen pence?

FALSTAFF. Reason, you rogue, reason. Think'st thou I'll

endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me,

I am no gibbet for you. Go-a short knife and a throng!-

to your manor of Pickt-hatch; go. You'll not bear a letter

for me, you rogue! You stand upon your honour! Why,

thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do to

keep the terms of my honour precise. I, I, I myself

sometimes, leaving the fear of God on the left hand, and hiding

mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge,

and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags,

your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and

your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour!

You will not do it, you!

PISTOL. I do relent; what would thou more of man?

Enter ROBIN

ROBIN. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you.

FALSTAFF. Let her approach.

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY

QUICKLY. Give your worship good morrow.

FALSTAFF. Good morrow, good wife.

QUICKLY. Not so, an't please your worship.

FALSTAFF. Good maid, then.

QUICKLY. I'll be sworn;

As my mother was, the first hour I was born.

FALSTAFF. I do believe the swearer. What with me?

QUICKLY. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?

FALSTAFF. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouchsafe

thee the hearing.

QUICKLY. There is one Mistress Ford, sir-I pray, come a little

nearer this ways. I myself dwell with Master Doctor

Caius.

FALSTAFF. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say-

QUICKLY. Your worship says very true. I pray your worship

come a little nearer this ways.

FALSTAFF. I warrant thee nobody hears-mine own people,

mine own people.

QUICKLY. Are they so? God bless them, and make them his

servants!

FALSTAFF. Well; Mistress Ford, what of her?

QUICKLY. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, Lord, your

worship's a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you, and all of

us, I pray.

FALSTAFF. Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford-

QUICKLY. Marry, this is the short and the long of it: you

have brought her into such a canaries as 'tis wonderful.

The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor,

could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet

there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with

their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after

letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly, all musk, and so

rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant

terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best and the

fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and I

warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.

I had myself twenty angels given me this morning; but I

defy all angels, in any such sort, as they say, but in the

way of honesty; and, I warrant you, they could never get

her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all;

and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more,

pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her.

FALSTAFF. But what says she to me? Be brief, my good she-

Mercury.

QUICKLY. Marry, she hath receiv'd your letter; for the

which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you

to notify that her husband will be absence from his house

between ten and eleven.

FALSTAFF. Ten and eleven?

QUICKLY. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see

the picture, she says, that you wot of. Master Ford, her

husband, will be from home. Alas, the sweet woman leads

an ill life with him! He's a very jealousy man; she leads a

very frampold life with him, good heart.

FALSTAFF. Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I

will not fail her.

QUICKLY. Why, you say well. But I have another messenger

to your worship. Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations

to you too; and let me tell you in your ear, she's as

fartuous a civil modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will

not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in

Windsor, whoe'er be the other; and she bade me tell your

worship that her husband is seldom from home, but she

hopes there will come a time. I never knew a woman so

dote upon a man: surely I think you have charms, la! Yes,

in truth.

FALSTAFF. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my

good parts aside, I have no other charms.

QUICKLY. Blessing on your heart for 't!

FALSTAFF. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife and

Page's wife acquainted each other how they love me?

QUICKLY. That were a jest indeed! They have not so little

grace, I hope-that were a trick indeed! But Mistress Page

would desire you to send her your little page of all loves.

Her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page;

and truly Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in

Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will,

say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she

list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and truly she

deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she

is one. You must send her your page; no remedy.

FALSTAFF. Why, I will.

QUICKLY. Nay, but do so then; and, look you, he may come

and go between you both; and in any case have a

nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy

never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that

children should know any wickedness. Old folks, you

know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.

FALSTAFF. Fare thee well; commend me to them both.

There's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along with

this woman. [Exeunt QUICKLY and ROBIN] This news

distracts me.

PISTOL. [Aside] This punk is one of Cupid's carriers;

Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights;

Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! Exit

FALSTAFF. Say'st thou so, old Jack; go thy ways; I'll make

more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look

after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money,

be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them say

'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter.

Enter BARDOLPH

BARDOLPH. Sir John, there's one Master Brook below would

fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath

sent your worship a moming's draught of sack.

FALSTAFF. Brook is his name?

BARDOLPH. Ay, sir.

FALSTAFF. Call him in. [Exit BARDOLPH] Such Brooks are

welcome to me, that o'erflows such liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress

Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompass'd you? Go to;

via!

Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised

FORD. Bless you, sir! FALSTAFF. And you, sir! Would you speak with me? FORD. I make bold to press with so little preparation upon you. FALSTAFF. You're welcome. What's your will? Give us leave, drawer. Exit BARDOLPH FORD. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. FALSTAFF. Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you. FORD. Good Sir John, I sue for yours-not to charge you; for I must let you understand I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are; the which hath something embold'ned me to this unseason'd intrusion; for they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open. FALSTAFF. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. FORD. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me; if you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage. FALSTAFF. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter. FORD. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing. FALSTAFF. Speak, good Master Brook; I shall be glad to be your servant. FORD. Sir, I hear you are a scholar-I will be brief with you -and you have been a man long known to me, though I had never so good means as desire to make myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection; but, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own, that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you yourself know how easy is it to be such an offender. FALSTAFF. Very well, sir; proceed. FORD. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's name is Ford. FALSTAFF. Well, sir. FORD. I have long lov'd her, and, I protest to you, bestowed much on her; followed her with a doting observance; engross'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many to know what she would have given; briefly, I have pursu'd her as love hath pursued me; which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have received none, unless experience be a jewel; that I have purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to say this: 'Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues; Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.' FALSTAFF. Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction at her hands? FORD. Never. FALSTAFF. Have you importun'd her to such a purpose? FORD. Never. FALSTAFF. Of what quality was your love, then? FORD. Like a fair house built on another man's ground; so that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where erected it. FALSTAFF. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? FORD. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say that though she appear honest to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her mirth so far that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your place and person, generally allow'd for your many war-like, courtlike, and learned preparations. FALSTAFF. O, sir! FORD. Believe it, for you know it. There is money; spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife; use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any. FALSTAFF. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously. FORD. O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour that the folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too too strongly embattl'd against me. What say you to't, Sir John? FALSTAFF. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. FORD. O good sir! FALSTAFF. I say you shall. FORD. Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none. FALSTAFF. Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment; even as you came in to me her assistant, or go-between, parted from me; I say I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed. FORD. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, Sir? FALSTAFF. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not; yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which his wife seems to me well-favour'd. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home. FORD. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him if you saw him. FALSTAFF. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife. Come to me soon at night. Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his style; thou, Master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold. Come to me soon at night. Exit FORD. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says this is improvident jealousy? My wife hath sent to him; the hour is fix'd; the match is made. Would any man have thought this? See the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abus'd, my coffers ransack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names! Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names of fiends. But cuckold! Wittol! Cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will trust his wife; he will not be jealous; I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitae bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself. Then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. God be prais'd for my jealousy! Eleven o'clock the hour. I will prevent this, detect my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three hours too soon than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! Exit

SCENE 3.

A field near Windsor

Enter CAIUS and RUGBY

CAIUS. Jack Rugby!

RUGBY. Sir?

CAIUS. Vat is de clock, Jack?

RUGBY. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd to

meet.

CAIUS. By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no come; he has

pray his Pible well dat he is no come; by gar, Jack Rugby,

he is dead already, if he be come.

RUGBY. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill

him if he came.

CAIUS. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take

your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.

RUGBY. Alas, sir, I cannot fence!

CAIUS. Villainy, take your rapier.

RUGBY. Forbear; here's company.

Enter HOST, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE

HOST. Bless thee, bully doctor!

SHALLOW. Save you, Master Doctor Caius!

PAGE. Now, good Master Doctor!

SLENDER. Give you good morrow, sir.

CAIUS. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?

HOST. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;

to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy

punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant.

Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha,

bully! What says my Aesculapius? my Galen? my heart

of elder? Ha! is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?

CAIUS. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de world; he is

not show his face.

HOST. Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece,

my boy!

CAIUS. I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or

seven, two tree hours for him, and he is no come.

SHALLOW. He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer

of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight,

you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true,

Master Page?

PAGE. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter,

though now a man of peace.

SHALLOW. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and

of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make

one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen,

Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are

the sons of women, Master Page.

PAGE. 'Tis true, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW. It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor

CAIUS, I come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace;

you have show'd yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh

hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You

must go with me, Master Doctor.

HOST. Pardon, Guest Justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.

CAIUS. Mock-vater! Vat is dat?

HOST. Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.

CAIUS. By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman.

Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.

HOST. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.

CAIUS. Clapper-de-claw! Vat is dat?

HOST. That is, he will make thee amends.

CAIUS. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for,

by gar, me vill have it.

HOST. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.

CAIUS. Me tank you for dat.

HOST. And, moreover, bully-but first: [Aside to the others]

Master Guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender,

go you through the town to Frogmore.

PAGE. [Aside] Sir Hugh is there, is he?

HOST. [Aside] He is there. See what humour he is in; and

I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?

SHALLOW. [Aside] We will do it.

PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Adieu, good Master Doctor.

Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER

CAIUS. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-

an-ape to Anne Page.

HOST. Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water

on thy choler; go about the fields with me through Frogmore;

I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a a

farm-house, a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried

game! Said I well?

CAIUS. By gar, me dank you vor dat; by gar, I love you; and

I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de

lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

HOST. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne

Page. Said I well?

CAIUS. By gar, 'tis good; vell said.

HOST. Let us wag, then.

CAIUS. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. Exeunt

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ACT III SCENE 1.

A field near Frogmore

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE

EVANS. I pray you now, good Master Slender's serving-man,

and friend Simple by your name, which way have you

look'd for Master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of

Physic?

SIMPLE. Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward; every

way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

EVANS. I most fehemently desire you you will also look that

way.

SIMPLE. I will, Sir. Exit

EVANS. Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and trempling

of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived me. How

melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave's

costard when I have goot opportunities for the ork. Pless

my soul! [Sings]

To shallow rivers, to whose falls

Melodious birds sings madrigals;

There will we make our peds of roses,

And a thousand fragrant posies.

To shallow-

Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. [Sings]

Melodious birds sing madrigals-

Whenas I sat in Pabylon-

And a thousand vagram posies.

To shallow, etc.

Re-enter SIMPLE

SIMPLE. Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.

EVANS. He's welcome. [Sings]

To shallow rivers, to whose falls-

Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?

SIMPLE. No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master

Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the

stile, this way.

EVANS. Pray you give me my gown; or else keep it in your

arms. [Takes out a book]

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER

SHALLOW. How now, Master Parson! Good morrow, good

Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student

from his book, and it is wonderful.

SLENDER. [Aside] Ah, sweet Anne Page!

PAGE. Save you, good Sir Hugh!

EVANS. Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!

SHALLOW. What, the sword and the word! Do you study

them both, Master Parson?

PAGE. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw

rheumatic day!

EVANS. There is reasons and causes for it.

PAGE. We are come to you to do a good office, Master

Parson.

EVANS. Fery well; what is it?

PAGE. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having

received wrong by some person, is at most odds with

his own gravity and patience that ever you saw.

SHALLOW. I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never

heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of

his own respect.

EVANS. What is he?

PAGE. I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the

renowned French physician.

EVANS. Got's will and his passion of my heart! I had as lief

you would tell me of a mess of porridge.

PAGE. Why?

EVANS. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and

Galen, and he is a knave besides-a cowardly knave as you

would desires to be acquainted withal.

PAGE. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.

SLENDER. [Aside] O sweet Anne Page!

SHALLOW. It appears so, by his weapons. Keep them asunder;

here comes Doctor Caius.

Enter HOST, CAIUS, and RUGBY

PAGE. Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.

SHALLOW. So do you, good Master Doctor.

HOST. Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep

their limbs whole and hack our English.

CAIUS. I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear.

Verefore will you not meet-a me?

EVANS. [Aside to CAIUS] Pray you use your patience; in

good time.

CAIUS. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

EVANS. [Aside to CAIUS] Pray you, let us not be

laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you in

friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends.

[Aloud] I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb

for missing your meetings and appointments.

CAIUS. Diable! Jack Rugby-mine Host de Jarteer-have I

not stay for him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did

appoint?

EVANS. As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the

place appointed. I'll be judgment by mine host of the

Garter.

HOST. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,

soul-curer and body-curer.

CAIUS. Ay, dat is very good! excellent!

HOST. Peace, I say. Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I

politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my

doctor? No; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I

lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No; he gives me

the proverbs and the noverbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial;

so. Give me thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have

deceiv'd you both; I have directed you to wrong places;

your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt

sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow

me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.

SHALLOW. Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.

SLENDER. [Aside] O sweet Anne Page!

Exeunt all but CAIUS and EVANS

CAIUS. Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us,

ha, ha?

EVANS. This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I

desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains

together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging

companion, the host of the Garter.

CAIUS. By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me

where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.

EVANS. Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.

Exeunt

<<THIS ELECTRONIC VERSION OF THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM

SHAKESPEARE IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 BY WORLD LIBRARY, INC., AND IS

PROVIDED BY PROJECT GUTENBERG ETEXT OF ILLINOIS BENEDICTINE COLLEGE

WITH PERMISSION. ELECTRONIC AND MACHINE READABLE COPIES MAY BE

DISTRIBUTED SO LONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) ARE FOR YOUR OR OTHERS

PERSONAL USE ONLY, AND (2) ARE NOT DISTRIBUTED OR USED

COMMERCIALLY. PROHIBITED COMMERCIAL DISTRIBUTION INCLUDES BY ANY

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SCENE 2.

The street in Windsor

Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN

MRS. PAGE. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were

wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether

had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

ROBIN. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than

follow him like a dwarf.

MRS. PAGE. O, you are a flattering boy; now I see you'll be a

courtier.

Enter FORD

FORD. Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?

MRS. PAGE. Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?

FORD. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of

company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two

would marry.

MRS. PAGE. Be sure of that-two other husbands.

FORD. Where had you this pretty weathercock?

MRS. PAGE. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my

husband had him of. What do you call your knight's

name, sirrah?

ROBIN. Sir John Falstaff.

FORD. Sir John Falstaff!

MRS. PAGE. He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such

a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at

home indeed?

FORD. Indeed she is.

MRS. PAGE. By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see her.

Exeunt MRS. PAGE and ROBIN

FORD. Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any

thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why,

this boy will carry a letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon

will shoot pointblank twelve score. He pieces out his wife's

inclination; he gives her folly motion and advantage; and

now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A

man may hear this show'r sing in the wind. And Falstaff's

boy with her! Good plots! They are laid; and our revolted

wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him,

then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty

from the so seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself

for a secure and wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings

all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock strikes]

The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me

search; there I shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather prais'd

for this than mock'd; for it is as positive as the earth is firm

that Falstaff is there. I will go.

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, HOST, SIR HUGH EVANS,

CAIUS, and RUGBY

SHALLOW, PAGE, &C. Well met, Master Ford.

FORD. Trust me, a good knot; I have good cheer at home,

and I pray you all go with me.

SHALLOW. I must excuse myself, Master Ford.

SLENDER. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with

Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more

money than I'll speak of.

SHALLOW. We have linger'd about a match between Anne

Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have

our answer.

SLENDER. I hope I have your good will, father Page.

PAGE. You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you. But

my wife, Master Doctor, is for you altogether.

CAIUS. Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a

Quickly tell me so mush.

HOST. What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers,

he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks

holiday, he smells April and May; he will carry 't, he will

carry 't; 'tis in his buttons; he will carry 't.

PAGE. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is

of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and

Poins; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No,

he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of

my substance; if he take her, let him take her simply; the

wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes

not that way.

FORD. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me

to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will

show you a monster. Master Doctor, you shall go; so shall

you, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.

SHALLOW. Well, fare you well; we shall have the freer

wooing at Master Page's. Exeunt SHALLOW and SLENDER

CAIUS. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. Exit RUGBY

HOST. Farewell, my hearts; I will to my honest knight

Falstaff, and drink canary with him. Exit HOST

FORD. [Aside] I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with

him. I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

ALL. Have with you to see this monster. Exeunt

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